About a year ago Ryan noticed Jak Jak's tumor was growing and felt he only had a year left. Around Thanksgiving time the tumor looked massive and I wondered if he would make it until Christmas. About a month ago he really started to get bad and I became his hospice care and watched him get weaker, his breathing changed into sounding rougher, he could no longer walk up steps or control his bladder as well and the last few weeks he stopped eating his dog food and always seemed to be thirsty. As these changes took place the question came to pass what should we do if he gets really bad. Ryan had been extremely busy and we never had a chance to answer it. Then Ryan went off to Arizona for a few days and that's when it became apparent Jak Jak was in too much pain to continue his life with us.
Ryan left Thursday morning and that night I woke up to Jak Jak barking. I came into the kitchen and found him lying in the middle of the floor. Since his back legs were weak I tried to help him up and as I did he started to have a seizure... at least I think it was one because I did not have my contacts in or glasses on so my eye sight was extremely poor. When it was over I just stayed with him, gave Ryan a call and eventually Jak Jak started to look better. This happenend about 3am on Friday. The Friday of Ella's b-day party.
I kept thinking about him and wondered if I should cancel the party mostly in fear he would get worse but the party went on. He only barked when the first kid came to the door and just layed down for everything else. He looked so sad. It broke my heart.
On Saturday he had two seizures and Jonathan saw the second one. During these weeks I kept Jonathan in the loop on what was going on so if/ when we had to take Jak Jak to the vet it was not a surprise. We adopted Jak Jak when Jonathan was 2 years old. Anyway, that night I brought Jonathan's mattress down and he stayed with Jak Jak through the night. Before that we gave Jak Jak a fantastic meal of waffles and bacon. We even had one waffle with bacon inside of it. I told the kids tomorrow Jak Jak was going to the vet and he was going to die. Ella had a lot of questions about death, how was he going to die and cried a lot. I tried to ease her pain by telling her he would be OK and would be with Daddy's mom. She would be telling him to stop snagging her food and eating her crayons. It made Ella Laugh and she felt a little better. The kids drew pictures of Jak Jak and gave him lots of hugs and more bacon. Jonathan was fasting that Jak Jak would be comfortable until it was is time to go.
Sunday was basically a day of waiting until daddy got home. The kids continued to give Jak Jak random hugs. When Ryan came home he took one look at Jak Jak and knew he was not the dog we remembered him being. Ryan spent a little time saying goodbye and then carefully put Jak Jak on a towel and carried him out to the car. Ella and Jonathan went to the vet with Ryan while I stayed at home with the 2 little ones.
At the vet, Jonathan and Ella both had a clay imprint of Jak Jak's paw with their finger print next to it. Ryan said he went peacefully. They gave him the medicine/ drug and Jak Jak looked at Jonathan, put his head on Jonathan's lap and peacefully slipped away.
The past week has been a hard adjustment for me which for some reason I didn't think it would be. I never realized how much Jak Jak was a part of my life. Every time I make a sandwich I have to stop myself from throwing the crust on the floor for Jak Jak. I no longer have to worry about him getting out of the house when someone comes to our front door or open the back door for him to go potty. No more hearing him bark when the screen door moves from the wind or seeing him get super excited and run to the door when Ryan came home from work. I now pick up cheerios off the floor and continuously remind myself he won't get into the trash or kitchen sink and won't jump up and eat the kids' food when they walk away from unfinished meals.
The hardest part was Jonathan kept Jak Jak's collar and as I was moving it from 2 hangers to 1, the clinking of the tags instantly made me think of Jak Jak. That he was walking somewhere next to us but he wasn't. My heart sank.
I don't want to end this on a sad note and I am feeling extremely sad so I'll share some funny/ good memories about Jak Jak.
When we first got him, one day I came home from work and found a 5lb bag of sugar opened and a trail of it left through out the house. We had to put a baby gate up so he would not get into the kitchen and try to eat anything else. (This was when we lived in CA)
A side note. Even though Jak Jak could walk over or jump that baby gate, he never did. He would only try to push it open.
Speaking of food, it was Jak Jak's love. In addition to food he ate crayons, a nice candle from Hawaii, dirty diapers, tin foil that was used in making dinner, and whole bananas if left on the counter. A few years ago he finally discovered he could easily get into the kitchen sink where he had a field days taking the pots out of the sink, drag them across the floor and then would eat the food off of them.
If I would leave the room to get something for one of the kids or heaven forbid use the restroom, he would try and swipe the kids' food and I would always hear someone yell his name or cry because their food was gone. Then I would walk down the stairs and his guilty face looked back at me.
When Jonathan was 4 or 5 I made him a cake for his party and I left the room for a second and Jak Jak snagged on of the two cake cars. Luckily I had one more cake mix and made cupcakes spelling out his name.
When I fixed dinner he would always walk over and plop himself on the kitchen floor wondering if he would get a nice snack of something. When dinner was served he would walk over to the tiny step, put his bear head and paws on the step and wait for left overs. If anyone left their seat, especially me, he would sneak in and try to snag something. He LOVED food.
I have never heard Lynnie laugh as much as when Jak Jak would toot because his toots could be deadly.
Ryan drove out to PA with Reuben, Jak Jak and all of our stuff.
Jak Jak was so good with our kids and never bit anyone. He just wanted to be loved and would follow anyone around who showed him the least degree of affection. At times he would get too excited and would jump on a person, which because of his size was could be overwhelming, but he really just wanted to play or have someone pet him. He did know his place in our little family pack and would even sit when Leia told him too.
He was afraid of the vacuum which I would chase him with it if I was cleaning up after a diaper incident. He didn't like the thunderstorms out here in PA and he would sneak up to my room when they were extra loud. At night he would wait for me to go upstairs and then would hop on one of the couches to fall asleep. Speaking of sleeping, he use to snore rather loudly and Ryan would throw a pillow at him when he became too loud and we could not hear the tv.
During three of my pregnancies he would follow me around more. He knew something was up and he became extra watchful and would try to sleep next to my bed.
Even though he was super friendly there were a few instances where he thought someone might harm Jonathan and suddenly became very protective.
The most precious memory was days after Ella was born Jonathan came down with Rotovirus and became extremely sick. He spent a night on the bathroom floor and ended up going to the ER. While at home, Jak Jak NEVER left his side. He laid next to Jonathan until he got better. That is why Jonathan wanted to stay with Jak Jak during his last night with us because he wanted to make sure Jak Jak knew he would always be loved.
